I remember / je me souviens

I remember / je me souviens

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For those limbic bursts of nostalgia, invented by Proust, miniaturized by Nicholson Baker, and freeze-dried by Joe Brainard in his I remember and by Georges Perec in his Je me souviens.

But there are no fractions, the world is an integer
Like us, and like us it can neither stand wholly apart nor disappear.
When one is young it seems like a very strange and safe place,
But now that I have changed it feels merely odd, cold
And full of interest.
--John Ashbery, "A Wave"

Sometimes I sense that to put real confidence in my memory I have to get to the end of all rememberings. That seems to say that I forego remembering. And now that strikes me as an accurate description of what it is to have confidence in one's memory.
--Stanley Cavell, The Claim of Reason

Tuesday, August 30, 2005

I remember when I was about 8 years old, my downtown grandparents were taking care of us and my grandfather was supposed to walk me the ten blocks down West End Ave to school. But after a few blocks he said he had an appointment and wondered if I could walk the rest of the way myself. I was surprised, ambivalent but also encouraged by this sudden acknowledgement of my capability, so I said OK. I walked on and stopped diligently at every corner waiting for the light to turn green. There was almost no traffic. At one corner the light was red but as no cars were in sight, I finally crossed anyway. When I had almost arrived at school I happened to glance across West End Ave and saw that my grandfather was walking on the opposite side of the street, a few feet behind. When he saw he had been discovered he came over and revealed that he was just checking to see if I was able to walk by myself. This little test was a wonderful lesson on responsibility and trust - for us both!

posted by caroline 4:23 AM
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